Freightrain at my door
Want to clear my land for track
they say man wants goods
---
men come and gone
taking no notice
spring
again
readies her song
---
Summer comes, Thank God
No need to pay for heating,
Just getting by now
"This one comes as is."
"Just look at that lovely Porch!"
"Needs some TLC."
---
Abandoned ranch stands
Ghostly riders haunt the land
Whispering old memories
---
Trains pass by no more
Abandoned house, now silent,
Springs green comes no more
20 comments:
Hey Folks,
Here's that pic of Nina's I mentioned in the last comments. And me, I haven't figured out where it's going to lead my haiku yet. Penny nailed it for me before when she said that you start in one place and end in another. And I like that.
Otherwise a link to Nina's site is over in the previous comments. I also slung it on the church blog.
men come and gone
taking no notice
spring
again
readies her song
echoes of laughter
and bare feet on wooden floors.
a hard sun beats down.
nice one noby..
yiiick, mine is just bad poetry..
i wanted to mention the traintracks.. it just wouldn't come..
my muse has gone on holiday :P)
For America
Summer comes, Thank God
No need to pay for heating,
Just getting by now
The Realtor said:
"This one comes as is."
"Just look at that lovely Porch!"
"Needs some TLC."
Hey Folks,
I just had a chat with schutter who pointed out that Basho, broadly considered the greatest haiku writer, was much given to humour. If you put Basho Matsuo into wikipedia you can read about him uttering a variety of humorous impieties.
And after all the seriousness we've been in amongst it won't hurt to have a lighter pic up next.
PS I rearranged the comments set up on account of Nina running into weirdness. Amongst other things I ditched that secret word thing. Hopefully it should all go more smoothly now. Yoroshiku.
And hey kikz,
Yours isn't so dreadful. I liked it well enough. But I know the feeling. I'm in two minds about my own. And I wasn't crazy about either of my last two, ha ha. It always seems to be the last line that kills me.
women in the water
spread their messages
while a howling gale
Don't worry folks, I don't understand Lua either. She is 'una donna misteriosa', ha ha.
I'm going to make a wild guess that Lua meant her haiku for the Matisse?
OK, here's my entry:
---------------------------------
Freightrain at my door
Want to clear my land for track
they say man wants goods
---------------------------------
When I did this piece in '05 it came to me the popular California ranchhouse style came about from people adding-on to the existing structure as they went along.
If they had been allowed to keep it up without industrial impediment in any one location, it could turn into a series of little Kowloon Walled Cities with livestock wandering the passages.
http://www.archidose.org/KWC/
Whispering old memories
Ghostly riders haunt the land
Abandoned ranch stands
sorry, switch that around
Abandoned ranch stands
Ghostly riders haunt the land
Whispering old memories
I think that is better.
Bravo Pen, you were right. Nice one.
Hey Nina, glad you made it. I love the Kowloon concept. But then I am a bit of an Asia junky.
BTW kikz, apropos how crummy your poem was, just pop back over to the comments at Nina's blog.
Ha! Ever the deliverer of backhanded compliments, me.
can i keep going to write my haikuofdonnamisteriosa?
even if most of the time it does not make sense
it is good medicine for me...
Beautiful girl,
You could cover your eyes with one hand and bang the keyboard with the other and I would still be glad that you're here.
Like I said on the front page, people may write whatever they like in the comments. Except if they're white supremacists, ha ha. Happily they don't groove on poetry.
PS. I had a thought Lua. Perhaps if you to title it or just put 'off-topic' at the top. Or bottom. Then we wouldn't be scratching our heads. Or bottoms.
Trains pass by no more
Abandoned house, now silent,
Springs green comes no more
~buffy
Onya Buffy,
I'm glad people aren't missing the train tracks. I started there and somehow got side- er... tracked.
Hey Nina,
That's your lot, mate. As the creator of the inspiration what did you make of it all? I for one would groove on hearing what you thought.
PS. Lua, you don't mind if your piece didn't go on the front page do you? At the moment, my only rule for the front page is that the poem is connected to the picture. Ciao bella.
This is a new medium for displaying art incognito, receiving feedback not as the artist, but more as an objective observer.
In order to do that, I had to remove myself completely from the original act and all of its accompanying associations. I learned from this exercise that it can be done with intense concentration.
In the beginning I thought maybe I should reveal a few details on the assumptions, but that isn't how it actually unfolded as everyone proved to make essentially the most basic point of the piece which is that of desolation, something gone, something lost forever in time.
The title of the piece is "All Things Must Pass", inspired by John Lennon's genius.
While the haiku was undergoing applications on this very site, the actual geography was under extreme threat from an expanding wildire and repeated flash floods.
The fire is now fully contained, but history remains a delicate treasure.
I am greatful to the haiku composers here for their insights and efforts. Thank you.
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