Saturday, November 5, 2011


latin at gunpoint
o magnum mysterium
dona nobis pacem

---

very celibate nuns
blow off steam with pump-action
ex-carpenter cries

---

hunting with god's girls
brought home a wounded devil
rest and smoke cigars

---

there on yonder field
is a deliciously naked man
first come first serve

---

no room for dispute
this dogma will be enforced
by shotgun wedding

32 comments:

nobody said...

when I hear the words
Vatican II and wimples
I reach for my gun

A. Peasant said...

who says guns are bad?!?
surely Jesus himself likes
nuns cocking their guns

(forgive me Jesus. nobs may possibly be a bad influence... i'm not sure... quite possibly i am wicked without any assistance.)

nobody said...

nuns cocking their guns
not so terrible really
unlike vice-versa

A13 said...

lock n load
sistah joan
schoolies week

we have god
and guns
too much fun

those girls
will need more than a spanking
that's for sure

what ever happened
to the old Tsquare
and the feather duster

demeurely demented
god invented
The gun of fun

no more funny business
we pack
seriously perverse amo

have a good one A :)

A13 said...

Every body run
sisters got a gun
she's on the rum

catholic girls
like frank zappa says
are like that

born to shoot
born to root
born to .......?


back in the day
nuns would play
your hide.

as an x catholic private school girl i'm all too familiar with this image and i could be here all day being silly ...
LOVE IT :)
A13

nobody said...

A! Slow down. The pic is here for a whole week so there's no rush, you may as well pace yourself. Not forgetting of course that if you pinch all the gags then there'll be nothing left for anyone else to write.

Otherwise perhaps a sit-down and a cup of tea, at least until you get your breath back.

A. Peasant said...

hot damn A13, those are brilliant.

all nuns know that the
catholic education
spawns haiku masters

latin at gunpoint
o magnum mysterium
dona nobis pacem

Anon said...

(Where did you get that picture of our dear teachers?)

- Aangirfan

jd said...

very celibate nuns
blow off steam with pump-action
ex-carpenter cries

nobody said...

Sorry A13, I hope I didn't dismay you there. You're very quiet. I hope I haven't prompted you to go off on some sticky-carpet pub crawl bender. Because we'd much rather you had your bender here in the haiku club. The carpet is much less sticky and your chances of getting glassed are way lower.

Hullo Aang, You like that one? The google entry that got me there was 'nuns with guns'. But if you like this particular pic I'd say you'd be best grabbing this one directly. I looked through ten pages and this had the best rez and least compression. Control click open-link-in-new-window (in Mac) takes you to the full rez page. And don't mind me, feel free to pinch whatever and use it. That's all I ever do. And whatever your feelings on that, this pic is almost certainly unowned and of unknown providence.

JD, Very good. And did you know that technically celibate means 'not married'. That's why priests can have sex with people and not break their vow of celibacy. Which is nice for them I think.

Anonymous said...

NRA and nuns
As defenders of the faith
God gave us these guns

Tony

Anonymous said...

Catholic school kids
Aang, Noby and A13
Go ahead and vent

jd said...

i did not know the actual definition of celibate. i suppose abstinent is the better choice of words. although, i guess if sex outside of marriage is forbidden, celibate fits as well in its working definition.

ah, the whole thing is screwy, all just catholic dictates and not biblical anyways (again, guessing). the picture does bring to memory the nun packing heat in Freejack ....

the world goes to hell
in mystery the lord works
trade clothes for hard steel

A13 said...

Nobs,
I certainly did have a bit of a bender..no sticky carpet here though, only tiles so that the only clean up is a hose down..
recieved a bottle of "bohemia sekt" a czech republic bubbly, and jeez,it knocked my cotton socks off.
Even too much for the rant lounge actually, had to go and have a nanny nap that arvo.
mind you i don't usually have too many drinks but this was a special occassion...and yes i did get carried away and you were quite correct in pulling me in a bit..no offence taken.
I can get a little rowdy as us monkeys do sometimes ;)
cheers A

P2P said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
P2P said...

fixed a typo,

hunting with god's girls
brought home a wounded devil
rest and smoke cigars

Anonymous said...

Outside the snow falls
but its warm enough in here,
to think, and feel shame.

der schutte

Anonymous said...

NRA and nuns
As defenders of the faith
God gave us weapons

su said...

there on yonder field
is a deliciously naked man
first come first serve

Anonymous said...

FB

Salvation Army
And us - Fid Def – hands off the
Jesuits, they're ours.


Nuns, guns, having fun
Sun and buns, son of a gun
Got the runs, I'm done.

Hi guys I just thought I would let you know where I have been for the last month or so. I got mown down by a kieshund and spent several weeks in hospital having my left hip replaced. I was staying with the step daughter on the other side of Belgium when I opened a door to go from one room into another and the dog thought it would be rather wizard to try and race between my legs before I cleared the door. It didn't figure on me trapping it as I brought my back foot forward which is what happened. All the momentum of the dog traveling at full speed was transferred to my legs and my feet, with the dog still between them went up to waist height before I hit the hard floor shattering my hip. That's life I guess.

Changing subject, have you heard that the rather academically inclined Pennsylvania State University has been censured for pimping kids to the paedo class? Looks like the cancer has spread to another organ?

Anonymous said...

FB

Forgot to mention and just showing off really but did you know that the female equivalent of celibate is nubile?

Anonymous said...

FB Nov. 11
Speedy recovery mate

Anonymous said...

FB

Annon - Thanks mate it is going well up to now. I have just taken our small dog, not the one in question, for a small walk using one crutch so onward and upward.

nobody said...

FB! I was wondering what had happened to you. I thought you'd cracked the shits after I tweaked your last haiku. "Right, that's it! He's changed the word order. I'm outta here."

But it seemed unlikely what with me otherwise praising it to the heavens and whacking it on the front page. Anyway, channelling Madeleine Albright - if the price of you not having gotten the shits with the haiku blog is a broken hip, then yes, we think it was worth it.

Idiocy aside, sorry to hear you've been in the wars mate. Seconding Tony there - get well soon. Mind you the problem with ageing is that healing gets harder and harder. If only it was the other way around. Me, I'm touching all sorts of wood, particularly those possessed of anti-Kieshund properties

As for nubile - surely it means suitable for marriage whereas celibate is the opposite? Anyway, it's a marvellous word. Just rolling it around on your tongue is enough to Cerne your Abbas, ahem.

But none of that for you FB, it might retard your recovery, and we can't have that.

---

Oh! I just realised that this is the first I've been in here since I went away. Sorry folks I was on the road up at my buddy Ledge's place. It was nice to get back and find a bunch of haiku. Mind you, I do hate that because it makes choosing five so much more difficult. In fact, curse you all!

Oh, it's Saturday. I shall have to put a new pic up. But I'm about to hit the road again so it will have to wait. Ciao Ciao.

A. Peasant said...

Anyway, channelling Madeleine Albright - if the price of you not having gotten the shits with the haiku blog is a broken hip, then yes, we think it was worth it.

ha, well channeled nobs.

wishing you a speedy recovery FB. i immediately looked up kieshund to see what sort of creature of doom it is. yah, watch out for the fluffy ones.

Anonymous said...

FB

Thanks for the kind words folks. The surgeon said it was too far gone for sticking a few rusty nails in and I was a couple of years past the nominal limit for replacement but because I was sprightly they would make an exception but to keep the other one well away from dogs. Better to have it done with now than wait for the rusty nails to fail in a couple of years and be completely up shit creek. Mind you, even I am amazed at how well the recovery is going. They said that a fracture takes a bit longer than a replacement for ostio reasons because they have to move more healthy muscle around which takes time to settle back down. We will see.

And I do have a penchant for the banal style of humour.

john said...

no room for dispute
this dogma will be enforced
by shotgun wedding



hope you're mending well FB

Blammo said...

We heard that you've been
contemplating heresy.
Do you feel lucky?

nobody said...

Nice one John and Blammo. Blammo, is this your first visit? Marvellous ambiguity. For the record, I always contemplate heresy and yes, I feel lucky.

Anonymous said...

FB

Thanks John

Blammo, that one had me laughing out loud.

We are the Savior's
Fighters to a man. We give
The shits to the Klan

Blammo said...

Ha, thanks FB, and Nob. You've got quite the hopping place here. It is rather addictive. I did post one anonymously a while back. Sad to say I missed the last one, but A13 blew it out of the water.

These girls were definitely giving off a Dirty Harry vibe.

Anonymous said...

out of the ballpark blammo.