would you love
even the most weird
desires of mine
while quivering
as beings built into
a notification board
---
we may as well wait
in this sign as the bus will
be along shortly
---
a hand extended
into our world, dark and cold
but help is withheld
---
winter dreary nights
Milanese purgatory
next stop, unconscious
---
people who are not,
happily not waiting here,
some place that isn't
14 comments:
Hi boys and girls,
This pic is courtesy of my favourite Finn P2P from her blog dyslexia is ok here. It's a great photo - all sorts of delicious ambiguity. I don't know how it'll go here. To be honest I couldn't even tell you what it says to me yet - something, but I'm not sure what. My kind of art really.
'we may as well wait
in this sign as the bus will
be along shortly'
sez to me..
FUK SNOW!
hahahahahahahahhaha!
kikz reads my work pretty well.
I realized I don't know, or maybe a better word would be remember, the syllable rules of english. let's just say that apparently we have a lot more syllables in finnish... but I still tried to speak for myself in a haiku form;
inside the corpse's
shell, here only to
suffer, in my hell
well, summer's here
soon, just wrote to wish
you good afternoon
it's an intriguing image for sure :)
we've just inundated here lately by a snowcalypse! so i'm quite burned out on cold/ice/snow.
sorry p2p... your haiku is wonderful..
that was just my first thought on viewing the image :)
i barely write in eng anyway, and all but ignore the standard rules for it, written or spoken ;)
two pictures intwined
red lips and flaccid package
get me out of here
iy, been reading the secret sales pitch by one august bullock. subliminals everywhere, i tell ya ...
Hullo boys and girls, sorry I haven't been in. I've been running around, kept busy by the real world.
But never mind me. Good stuff here. Anon, can you grab a moniker mate? Anything will do. And sure, at the moment you're the only anon but if another one turns up it'll do my head in. Regardless, moniker or no, that one cracked me up.
Hey P, I like the first one particularly. For the record, (and yes, me as tedious pedant) ideally the three lines of the haiku should each be stand-alone clauses. For instance -
In the corpse's shell
here only to suffer
my very own hell
Apologies, Apologies, that's me taking a liberty you understand. As for syllables in English, you can get away with all sorts of things. Thus 'here' may be one syllable 'hir' or two 'hee-ar'. It's up to you really. The joys of poetic licence. And of course in haiku there's no need for rhyme but that doesn't mean it can't be fun.
Speaking of which, last week in regards to anon's thought about the weather I came up with
Whither the weather
Whether here or wherever
Hell bent for leather
As you can see the last line is an act of desperation. Still, It was close, just not close enough. Never mind. And same-same this week. All I've come up with is near-misses. Anyway I'll keep at it and be back tomorrow.
---
FUK SNOW! says our Kikz
with maniacal laughter.
"This is a job for..."
Hey Kikz. Do you get this? Or have you not visited the church comments yet? Ciao!
anonthy
I thought you'd realised that
Not a poet, so reluctant...
a hand extended
into our world, dark and cold
but help is withheld
the words can't really stand on their own, but I found it amusing to write something I saw in the image in finnish by using only one word per line. the syllables are separated and a translation follows.
ra-kas-tai-sit-ko
o-mi-tui-sim-pi-a-kin
mie-li-ha-lu-jain
hy-tis-tes-säm-me
si-sään-ra-ken-net-tu-na
il-moi-tus-tau-luun
would you love
even the most weird
desires of mine
while quivering
as beings built into
a notification board
winter dreary nights
Milanese purgatory
next stop, unconscious
Holy Shit!
We're rocking this week. Excellent Excellent.
And okay, I did the pedant thing and discussed syllables, but for mine when a thing is as good as P's haiku pair there (with actual Finnish language! Super cool!) then to hell with the meter!
Otherwise P, yes I would still love you, unless of course your desire was that we be figures built into a notification board. Because that would just be too weird for itself and no doubt we'd end up disappearing up our own arses.
-
And anon - you're not a poet? Ha! You should see me!
in a dead grey world
a magic portal appears
one without entry
people who are not,
happily not waiting here,
some place that isn't
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