Saturday, November 29, 2008


"menja bé, caga
fort i no tinguis por a
la mort!" my good friends

---

grand schemes of man pause
nature calls in her own ryhme
we laugh at her joke

---

Margaret Thatcher
in tweed skirt and trousers with
a pair of brown pumps

---

This is just plain gross
A defecating statue
Made me go, like, yuck.

---

shitting on christmas
is a festive thing to do
better than spending

-

the moneymen squeeze
and the credit is crunchy
your name is Jacques Merde

---

Improper function
Input without an output
Leaves us full of shit

---

saved the best for last
pardoning myself early
let them wipe my ass.

-

"Thanks for Gravity"
Grace before letting one go
is appropriate.

-

The most over-rated:
Fucking. Shitting, most under-
opines the old man.

---

Finally, whew!
The wise men show,
They couldn't have known
I need to poo!

30 comments:

nobody said...

Okay, calm down. There's more to this than you think.

This is called a caganer and they are explained here. They even have their own website complete with celebrity caganers. Cool, huh?

Okay, so now you're all equipped to write your scatological haiku. God knows how this is going to go. Fingers crossed...

Miraculix said...

Scatological haiku -- who knew?

...

"menja bé, caga
fort i no tinguis por a
la mort!" my good friends

...

So, do I seem discouraged yet? =)

kikz said...

grand schemes of man pause
nature calls in her own ryhme
we laugh at her joke


.......nose crinkle

Miraculix said...

Margaret Thatcher
in tweed skirt and trousers with
a pair of brown pumps

(partially inspired by a brilliant old Robin Williams stand-up vision of Margaret Thatcher speaking...)

nobody said...

Miss! Miss! Miraculix copied his from wikipedia! I saw him!

nobody said...

What have I in life?
Nothing to brag about, but...
that's a cracking turd!

nobody said...

Lil jobbing Spaniard,
we thank you for your message,
that some joys are free.

Magdelena said...

This is just plain gross
A defacating statue
Made me go, like, yuck.

~ Buffy (holding her nose with a squished up face) ewwww.

(I wouldn't have believed this had I not seen it with my own eyes - wonders never cease)

john said...

shitting on christmas
is a festive thing to do
better than spending

nobody said...

Actually, shortly after I put this pic up, I remembered what is one of the great cultural divides amongst the English speaking people - the horror with which North Americans view all things scatological.

Here in Oz (and I suspect the UK too) a well timed fart can have a whole room of people in stitches. We even have names for each of the various farts. The 'silent but deadly' is renowned, but my favourite is Douglas Adams' 'berepper' which he defined in his marvellous book 'The Meaning Of Liff' as 'The irrevocable and sturdy fart released in the presence of royalty, which sounds quite like a small motorbike passing by (but not enough to be confused with one).'

Without being certain, I suspect that in the US, there is no such thing as a well-timed fart. (Never mind a 'sturdy and irrevocable' one, ha ha.)

And whilst 'poo' doesn't have the universal 'even-grandma-had-laugh' appeal of farts, we ain't shy about it neither. I think what it boils down to is the difference between 'earthy' and 'perverse'. Me, I admire earthiness and am repelled by pointless perversity. It's my opinion that North Americans tend to view anything even remotely scatological as perverse. Me, I'm with the Catalans on this one. It is what it is and there's no point being weird about it.

I hope no one thinks I'm not picking a fight or having a go at anyone here. If you said my opinion wasn't worth tuppence I'd admire you for your sense of economy, ha ha. Likewise if I've upset anyone I'll apologise profusely.

BTW If there are any fans of Douglas Adams out there you can find a .txt file of The Meaning Of Liff here. I gave the matter some thought and decided that yes, it is the funniest book I've ever read.

nobody said...

Sorry, 'not picking' should read 'picking'. Yoroshiku.

Penny said...

Improper function
Input without an output
Leaves us full of shit

nobody said...

Hats off! Layered and cryptic, I like it.

brian kennedy said...

saved the best for last
pardoning myself early
let them wipe my ass.

nobody said...

Catalonian sage,
what say you to kings and queens?
'Who needs a throne?'

nobody said...

And thanks Brian, nice one. It's not easy being topically allegorical in 17 syllables, ha ha.

Slozo said...

Finally, whew!
The wise men show,
They couldn't have known
I need to poo!

Miraculix said...

...and it rhymes too. From a member of the Kennedy family, no less... =)

Meanwhile, the Margaret Thatcher pass was entirely my own, while yes, the foreign tongue portion of the first go was lifted from your linked reference. Which is why it was in "quotes".

I just liked the sentiment.

Here's hoping the stay in Sydney is as enjoyable as our last three day run of shows, a Joe Bonamassa sandwich made with two slices of freshly-baked Joe Stump and plenty of special sauce.

brian kennedy said...

Kikz--"Nature calls in her own rhyme"--hilarious. Even a North American has to appreciate shit wrapped in humor.
Miraculix--"A pair of brown pumps" ditto, it took me 15 minutes to get it though. Those two grunts must have rhymed too.
Nobody--"A cracking turd" is "cracking" an Ozian idiom for "splendid" or "impressive" as well as a joke about the texture of the turd? Well, anyway, you cracked me up with that one. "cracked up" equals idiom for "made me laugh" in North American.

kikz said...

brian,

glad it made you laff, this is one of my least fav compositions :) lots of others here, as i've made many impositions on noby's pages :)

ah well..

your work is beautiful, such a practical skill... even in times of lean.

kikz said...

p.s. i'm north of dallas,texASS. but originally frm the gulf coast of MS. :)

Penny said...

Did we lose somebody
It could be anybody
Maybe nobody?

kikz said...

miss him too, penn:)

john said...

the moneymen squeeze
and the credit is crunchy
your name is Jacques Merde

nobody said...

Hello, sorry folks. And yes, I missed last weekend. I have a good excuse - I was in the middle of nowhere. But never fear, there'll be a new pic tomorrow.

And thanks John. For some reason Gershwin's 'Summertime' popped into my head - "...and your momma's good looking..." ha ha.

john said...

Cheers nobody,

Hope you had a good one. The middle of nowhere is a place to be, sounds good to me. Yes Summertime would fit nicely!

I like a bit of Douglas Adams, his original hitch-hikers guide to the galaxy radio series often gets played around here. There are some very naughty but easy to find websites where it is possible to download the whole lot though obviously I wouldn't recommend such a thing for an instant and I don't have to download them anyway as I already have them on new fangled cassette tapes. Well worth a listen though and the science is funny too.

Thanks to Douglas I now also have a name for the sensation of Ely and lot's of other great unamed things. Actually that book has been next to the bog a few times.

His and Mark Carwardines "Last Chance to See" was a good read too.

On a different thing I've been thinking about The Fall And Rise Of Reginald Perrin lately, I don't know why. Does anyone remember it?

nobody said...

Absolutely I remember it. Leonard Rossiter's finest moment. Really I must watch it again. I saw it in a second hand dvd shop the other day and foolishly didn't buy it.

I'm just off to see if what I want for the next pic coincides with what's out there. Back soon.

nobody said...

Just catching up. Sorry Mir, I wasn't having a go at you. When I first read that thing I thought it was marvellous, a fine sentiment. As for squeezing it into a haiku, bravo.

And sorry Brian, I do groove on a discussion of words and meanings. And yes, cracking here means brilliant or wonderful. There is a texture to it, but for me words all speak onomatopoeically. There is definitely an onomatopoeic aspect to 'cracking' there, but let's not go into it too deeply, ha ha.

brian kennedy said...

"Thanks for Gravity"
Grace before letting one go
is appropriate.

brian kennedy said...

The most over-rated:
Fucking. Shitting, most under-
opines the old man.